Can't look at this the same...

The things I never questioned, I now do.
The things I never minded, now grate on me.

I dont know why but now the small silly things that I never noticed before or that I never minded seem so stupid and irritating that I wonder why I never said anything or why I still stuck around for so long. I don't understand why the superficial aspects are completely affecting me and all my decisions.

The words, the actions, just seem so unnecessary. Most of all, the proximity of it all makes things so much harder to avoid. I wanna run away most times.

It gets so hard to believe all the things I hear. I hear things from different people, people who know more than me and I start to question. All those things I heard, all the promises, the bragging. Is it all true or have I been played for a fool?

"Hurt"

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face

You told me how proud you were but I walked away

If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms

I would take the pain away'

Thank you for all you've done

Forgive all your mistakes

There's nothing I wouldn't do

To hear your voice again

Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit

Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss

You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?

Would you help me understand?

Are you looking down upon me?

Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't doTo have just one more chance

To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything, I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day,

I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous,

It's so out of line to try to turn back time,

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself

By hurting you...

from me to you, with this, i'm through

looking back on what we had

now the future calls

it's time to move

I have the weirdest teachers/facilitators (whatever you want to call them). We had Applied Chemistry today and we learnt about 'effervescence'. Oh you know, those small little bubbles that fizz and spill over when you pour out a Coke or Sprite or Root Beer. Seriously, I have no idea what vital information I was supposed to have absorbed today aside from the fact that Carbon Dioxide is released when the reaction takes place. Okay, so maybe there were moles to calculate, and equations to balance, but what were the bubbles for? Couldn't they have just been more straightforward and given us equations. What was the point of coming up with some silly little 'kids central' type story about the fizz and bubbles?

The best part about all this, is after we've learnt about the equations and reactions, my ever so glamorous and eloquent facilitator gives us the nicest Reflection question to think about.

Question: From chemistry perspective, Why do we like to drink carbonate drinks?

My Response: To be perfectly honest, I feel that no one actually thinks about chemistry when drinking carbonated drinks. To add to that I feel that even if they do, it will have nothing whatsoever to do with their fondness for it. At most, they consider the bubbles or effervescence (as it's called in the world of chemistry) and how it feels in their mouths and enables them to burp. Aside from that, the real reason to like carbonated drinks is the large amount of sugar and flavourings that stimulates our brain and gives us 'sugar rush'.

I should get a C for today. I think. We'll see...

I'm starin out at the sky...

Prayin' that he will walk in my life

Where is the man of my dreams?

Yeah...I'd wait forever, how silly it seems

How does he laugh, how does he cry,

What's the color of his eyes,

Does he even realize I'm here?....

$108.60

As the titles suggests, I spent money today and oh man it felt awesome. I miss the thrills of shopping. Trying on clothes and shoes and belts, finding awesome bargains and stuff that fits really well.

I bought a dress, belt, denim skirt and 5 (yesh 5) tops for the above mentioned sum. It may not be designer brands or limited ed stuff but I love it all the same. Practicality was the priority today as I was shopping for school and basic stuff. I feel so sad that I didn't get my black heels though. BOOOOoooooo!!! Hopefully I'll find them tomorrow.

I'm so so so glad I went with Roxx. Hehe. Met for my favourite kway chap at Pasir Ris central. She got me one of the best souvenirs I've ever gotten. The best part, it had nothing to do with the country she went to. I love love love shopping with her cause we're about the same size and we have similar tastes. If I miss anything, she's sure to notice it. Plus she's frank with me about how something looks. So I know I won't buy something that makes me look shorter or stockier than I already do.

I can't wait for the Fantastic 4 movie tomorrow, but I now realise that I have so many movie plans to uphold with different people. I shall definitely have to schedule my time properly.

1. Movie with Sam

2. Movie with Becky

3. Dinners or lunches with a few guys
4. Dinner with Aunty Irene, Als, Char and Roxx

5. 'Reunion' with the girls from SAC

6. Fun fun fun with Raksha and Ann

Oh man, the list will probably keep getting longer, but I love them all, oh so much. =)

Now, PICTURES!!!

Prezzie from Penang!!!

Tops Tops Tops!!! (minus one that i need to return)

It's my belt. (i love the design)

The dress I LOVE and can't wait to wear.

Hmmm, I just wonder why I can't seem to find anything particularly happy to blog about. So I'll post an update. To those who have knowledge of 'The List", I am inclined to announce that the list, is gone. I went and burnt it in my surreal other world.

Oh well, it was tough having to constantly update the list and categorize all the information. Aside from that, I need time to mend. I can't give anyone that part of me that isnt whole. So while I search for that missing piece, whatever explainations you seek, is in these.

Meet You There - Busted
Holding On- Jay Sean
Hurt- Christina Aguliera
All or Nothing- O-town

I know they're slow and sappy. It's in the lyrics.