Monday, July 21, 2008

who'll be there to catch you when you fall

People say that the past has a way of catching up to you.
They say that the skeletons in your closet can't stay hidden forever.
They tell you, that there is no such thing as permanent closure.
What do you do when someone who says your his 'best friend' turns on you? How do you react when he chooses a 2 month relationship over one that spans 4 years? How do you go on? because he was the 'go-to guy'. The one I thought I could always depend on, who would never leave. The one who at one point said he'd pick me and wouldnt risk our friendship for anything. How is it that he blames me? So to him I shall say, "fuck off!". More than anything I resent that little bitch, and what's worse, I hate you for having made that choice, because you just showed me what I hate to see.
Lately I find the people around me are shifting, moving through my life randomly, leaving behind imprints, memories I may or may not want to hold on to. It does not help that I tend to put a bit of myself in them too.
Then when things look bleak, there are the memories from my past, people I chose to walk away from, the ones I wanted to leave behind. They come back to life, breaking away from the confines of my past and moving through the doors into my future. Unexpectedly, it raises the level of self-worth, knowing I wasn't forgotten, that I may have left a better memory in them than the ones people have left me with.
With all the drama, there are the ones that have been beside me all the time, going through the motions and being a shoulder when I needed it most. The ones for whom I would abandon all others. I hope you know who you guys are and how much you mean to me.
i saw this coming, yet i held you to more than what you obviously can be

3 comments:

King Rool said...

I KNOW IM ONE OF THEM. *THICK SKINNED* hahahah!

King Rool said...

thats me btw. amirooool

Anonymous said...

I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I don't listen anyway…
You ignore me,
And I’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, not a man.
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here all alone.
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
The don’t know me,
'Cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.

They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And they’ll want to just whispers,
And lies that I’ll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.

I’m the one,
‘Cause I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.