Chick Flick

Gosh it's been so long since I've been here. I could barely even remember my last post. Holidays are over and it's the first week of school. I'm pretty lucky because I have friends in my class and there's even a gambling group. Only problem is, the gorilla is back. I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to keep to myself and refrain from yelling "shut the f*** up"!

I managed to meet Charlene and Vanessa from secondary school. It had been almost 2 years since we've met and my it was the funniest, most hyper and definitely the shrillest reunion ever. Poor Kenneth (char's bf), it was lucky he didn't drive the car into a tree. She's definitely lucky, a rich bf who drives, and he's not bad looking. Best of all, he seems to have a somewhat feminine side, if thats the right way to describe it. We could actually talk to him about girl things. It was hilarious, refreshing and at times quite weird.

Shaun and I are back together. I can't remember if i mentioned it already so I guess I'll just say it again. It's been a rough road, and I guess looking back, I can't decide who was wrong or right. I have such a nasty temper that I wish I could control. I said alot of mean things, and I shouted when I should have stayed calm. I guess now it's the same, we just argued because earlier I lost my temper. When a guy says he wants to save money and then goes out every weekend with his friends to drink and smoke, is it wrong to question the saving part? Sometimes I think we're worlds apart. I don't even know if I can invite my close guy friends on my birthday. He says I have no regard for how he feels and what he wants, but somehow, at least on my birthday, why can't it be about what I want? I don't think I'm asking too much. One night, a few hours, just to see and have them join in my celebration. Not like I'll be all over them.

I kept my cool while he got angry, I let him get it out, though he said things that hurt so so much. He doesn't feel the way he used to about me. He even mentioned breaking up. I have no one to blame but myself, I know I hurt him and now I'm just hoping he gets that feeling back. He called back, he always does, but it hurts to wait all the same, to know that someone doesn't believe in you because you've let him down before, to think that he doesn't love the same way or as much as he used to. He affects me the most. A single word, the tone of his voice, the way he looks at me, and I don't even know why.

On a lighter note, it's Fad's birthday tomorrow. I haven't seen her in months, and I hope she likes what I've planned.

I want to end this post now, but it's awkward. I'm fine, not depressed or anything. Karma I guess, life is never a piece of chocolate cake that one can savour slowly. It's a constant obstacle course, and as someone said, mine is a chick flick, which didn't bug me because well, at least it's interesting.